*mod edit* I literally just wanted to make him happy.
I was 5 when my mother showed me how to use daddy's wand. that girls have to take medicine at least once a day to be strong. I remember for my 5th birthday my parents said I was going to learn how to nurture my body so I can be healthy. I remember her insisting on watching me poop and she always wiped me. I hated that I didn't get her attention and didn't get why I wasn't allowed to touch my special spot. I remember being jealous of the attention she gave my brother and his medicine giver. She'd constantly take pictures of me and my brother. I was constantly being taught by my Mom things we have to do if I want to grow like she was. But the main rule my brother was taught was he couldn't touch me until I had my first red flow or growth(my period) I envied my brother for his freedom. Me and my brother would practice for her. I still have vivid memories of her tongue exploring my mouth. My mother would always kiss me and my brother on the lips. It was the same as learning math or science. TRIGGERING INFORMATION!!!! i don't really know how to say it so I'll just try my best.īeing sexual was normal to me and my brother. I don't think I had my first taste of ice cream until I was 14. I couldn't even drink water out of plastic bottles. I would cry that my brother got to eat anything he wanted but I couldn't.
I wasn't allowed to eat anything processed. My parents were obsessed with delaying my puberty. Things that even as a little girl I questioned. My mother did a lot of weird things to me. I remember always running to greet Daddy and hugging him. I remember dad coming home from work and always being in a rush to get naked. But nudity was something we grew up accepting. Most of my memories are fuzzy until around 4ish. We weren't like everyone else and our secrets had to stay between our walls. My purpose was to grow up strong and healthy to become a mom of our future savior. I was so important that God sent my brother to serve and protect me. I was told I was an amazingly important girl. The bible was something my parents used to twist our young innocent minds growing up. We were isolated and sheltered from the world. But it was engraved in me and my brother so deep we totally accepted what our parents taught us. I don't know when the grooming and manipulation began.
My mother is a full time stay at home wife/mom during our childhood. We were raised devoted Catholics and my father works in the Medical field. On the surface its easy to be misguided into thinking we are a perfect family. I've written and deleted this so many times.